Thursday, January 12, 2006

A Liver Runs Through It

Sully and Murph will provide the majority of the entertainment around here, but I'll chime in with occasional random stuff as well. For background, I grew up in Hudson, MA, and now live in Brooklyn. Today's episode will deal with a relatively recent post-Homecoming train ride taken from Phila., PA (where I attended college), and NYC.

In an attempt to carry the Penn traditional of continual education throughout ALL phases of life, I would like to share a bit of hard-earned wisdom with you: Do not, under any circumstances, drink 4 40's in an afternoon and then take a 2-hour train ride to another city the same night. At the end of the above-decribed trip it will feel like someone has jammed a Coqui 900 bottle filled with Distilled Essence of Human Suffering deep, deep into your cerebral cortex.

Sophisticated tests have shown that I, solely as a result of this trip, lost 3.2% of my brain capacity. 0.8% of that has been attributed to alcohol, 0.4% to motion, and a whopping 2.0% to the "water" I drank on>board the train which either (a) was a combinbation of recycled brake fluid and rat blood or; (b) was somthing more poisonous that only TASTED like brake fluid and rat blood. That said, let the record show that I did NOT boot at any point, made at least a decent showing in the pound-for-pound drinking race, and arrived at my law review meeting on time, where I killed 3 people simply by glaring at them.

To summarize, Homecoming kicked more ass than Sherman.


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