Friday, January 13, 2006

Child Care and the Modern Family

Moderator: Welcome to "Sully and Murph Discuss The Issues," a blog featuring commentary on major issues of the day. Our principal commentators are: Timothy "Sully" Sullivan, Jr. (20), a student at Worcester State College, and part-time stocker at Building 19; and Thomas "Murph" Murphy (19), a graduate of Assabet Valley Regional Vocational High School, and aspiring barber.

Today's topic: With the rise in single-parent households and the concomittant increase in the need for qualfied day care, what role should the local, state, or federal government play in the provision of child care?

Sully: Jaysus. Murph, you remember Dotty Lavallee? We all had home ec together in junior high? The girl who sewed a cake and baked a pillow?

Murph: Yah theiah, I remembah her. God old 'Flatty' Lavalle. What ever happened to her?

Sully: She had a kid.

Murph: Really? What's its name?

Sully: The father made her name it Octagon.

Murph: What the hell kinda name is that?

Sully: The father was a big Ultimate Fighting fan. Plus, he claims that he only knocked up Dotty after she hit him over the head with a stop sign.

Murph: Jaysus.

Sully: Anywho, Dotty had some problems, and now Octagon is gonna be a Wednesday's Child on TV. Apparently the kid has some kind of retardism--you know Jack Williams loves those kinda stories.

Murph: You think he and Liz Walker ever hooked up?

Sully: Nah, he probably just gets shitcanned with Bob Lobel every night. You seen how red Lobel's nose is now?

Murph: They could put him on top of the Pru to warn off planes.

Moderator: Gentlemen, we appear to be wandering somewhat far afield again. Perhaps we could get back to the problem of finding day care for children in single-parent households?

Murph: Goddam you, Jimmy. Hey, didn't you used to date Dotty in 8th grade? Goin' ta second base with her must have been like washing a window.

Moderator: Listen, just because you and Tommy were jacking each other off after gym class is no reason to get upitty.

Sully: . . .

Murph: . . .

Moderator: Please join us next time, when the topic will be whether the increasing slope of the U.S.'s Lorenz Curve bodes ill for the Republicans in the upcoming mid-term elections.

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