Moderator: Welcome to "Sully and Murph Discuss The Issues," a blog featuring commentary on major issues of the day. Our principal commentators are: Timothy "Sully" Sullivan, Jr. (20), a student at Worcester State College, and part-time stocker at Building 19; and Thomas "Murph" Murphy (19), a graduate of Assabet Valley Regional Vocational High School, and aspiring barber.Today's topic: Does the Canadian Conservative Party's success in the wake of scandal surrounding former Prime Minister Paul Martin's Liberal government mark a genuine rightward turn for Canada, or merely a reaction to corruption in the Liberal Party?
Sully: Jaysus. How the hell do I care who's the Governor of Canada? As long as Montreal doesn't close down Club Super Sexe, everything's fine in my book.
Murph: You are dumb as a bag of wet hair. Canada doesn't have a Governor. It has a Queen. I know, because some jerk at the White Hen Pantry gave me a Canadian nickel as change--I couldn't get rid of it for weeks. And there's definitely an inbred lady with a tiara and an overbite on that thing.
Sully: The Queen--are you kiddin'? Jaysus, that lady's everywhere. Grampa Eammon used to tell me about how she put a curse on the potato crop back in Ireland.
Murph: What, now you're an IRA guy or something? Alls you know about bein' Irish is on St. Patty's Day when you break out that shirt that says "Kiss Me (Surprisingly Small [and Blindingly White] Hog), I'm Irish."
Sully: Listen, Murphy, just because two of your uncles spent three years upside-down in buckets of tea in an English prison doesn't give you the right to come off all Kevin Barry. The Sullivans were just too smart to get caught, that's all.
Murph: Get caught doin' what, fetchin' Whitey Bulger's coffee?
Moderator: All right, settle down. Do either of you have any parting thoughts that actually have to do with our topic?
Sully: Sure--now that the Republicans are in charge up theiah, maybe the Islams can go blow up a hockey rink instead of anything major.
Murph: Hell, if they take out the Queen they're welcome to use Ulster as their Holy Land. Couldn't make it worse up there if they tried, anyways.
Moderator: Join us next time when we will debate the rationale behind continued EU expansion.